Jingle Bell Blues

The giving and receiving of wrapped goods, the festivities, the holiday cheer, the mythical figures, the sky rocketing retail prices disguised as discounts, the boxing day sales, the time spent with family usually resulting in an ugly argument and the obscene amount of commercialism everywhere. Yes, it's almost Christmas...time for the jolly fat man in red to struggle down that chimney of yours....that is if you even have one =/

Christmas....ahh the memories of being an asian kid who never recieved the extravagant presents that all the white kids got...the memories of my parents bickering over the smallest things...in other words shit times =.=

So yea, Christmas has never been a big or even pleasant thing for me. Every year I pretend to be happy to everyone, greeting nearly everyone I know with a cheerful "Merry Christmas!" which is a good way to avoid spreading my nihilistic feeling to the overwhelmingly cheerful people that I happen to know =/ Then again...It's a great way to milk tips out of an unsuspecting customer/patron at w/e venue/establishment I'm at!

To be honest, I think I'm getting too good at masking my emotions at times...to the point where I don't know how I'm actually feeling sometimes. Maybe I should take up acting...ahhh fuck it acting will get me nowhere....or will it? Well....in any case I've neglected this semi-finished post for about a week now so I should finish it ^^;

I've noticed a pattern when it comes to the ol' family arguments. My mum will bring up shit that has no relevance to the argument whatsoever but that shit she brings up is something both me and my dad believe should stay flushed down. Shit like my hsc results....WTF HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH ME LOOKING FOR A JOB!?!? I know they were shit but....come on it's been at least a year since that shit went down. My dad's gambling problems have nothing to do with my grandma being hospital so....once again wtf...my mum is like a regurgitating toilet throwing back up shit and piss all over us when we try to flush our problems away. I think we've all had enough of the toilet analogies for one day so yea back to the point.

Whenever there's an argument everyone gets involved and everyone has their part. Here are the re occurring roles that we play in this fiasco of a drama.

• Mum as the Gullible Tormentor: She's the typical bitch in a way. Will insert comments and bring up issues from the past repetitively during an argument. Zealot of the abominable religion known as Australian Chinese Radio which is a conservative chinese christian radio channel that likes to badmouth everything that does not conform to their beliefs. She'll also pretend to be the victim when she starts to lose ground. May plead for insanity when brought to court.
  
• Dad as the Aged Beserker: Logical and calm until something hits a spot where it shouldn't. With many years of experience in many things (some which should not be revealed), he is patient until someone manages to break through the calm and bring on the inevitable throwing of objects in his raging state. May also plead for insanity when brought to court.
  
• Myself as the Weary Pacifier: He usually observes the conflict until it looks as if the Beserker has reached his limit. The Pacifier will also attempt to stem the abuse spewed forth by the Tormentor resulting in the Pacifier to receive a barrage of abuse as well. Uses himself as a physical meat shield to prevent any physical harm to others. Will plea for insanity if brought to court.
  
• My Younger Brother as the Tormentor's Minion: Loyal to the Tormentor, he is always there to back her up in almost every conflict. Fat and cowardly, he will retreat if the Pacifier shows signs of anger. The Minion will never try to stem the flow abuse that the Tormentor brings forth instead he will try to aggravate both the Beserker and Pacifier using similar insults and comments as the Tormentor herself. Most sane yet most conniving of the family.

In a few words....My family is pretty fucked up =/ Kinda impossible to enjoy the holiday cheer that's everywhere but your own home.

So here I am, 2 days before Xmas finishing up a blog while family members all around the world seem to be getting hospitalised. The family members in question are: My grandma (dad's side), Uncle (dad's side), Granddad (mum's side) and my cousing was for a short period of time...So yea my family has had a shit run of luck this year fml...

Fuck this I'm jumping ship when the opportunity presents itself.... And guess what? An opportunity has presented itself! I'll tell you about that some other time but for now... 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HOPE YOU HAVE A BETTER ONE THAN ME!!!