Just like how a glass shatters, my family has just done that...I think...my parents are at the very edge of divorce and I'm sure that will happen. Just like the shards of glass on the floor, picking up the pieces of this family will only cut you even more. No point in bitching about it, hell I don't know how I should be feeling but that's mainly because of the alcohol in my system...I think. I'm more curious than apprehensive about this whole divorce thing. I'm very certain that it will happen, I'm just surprised my parents have actually stuck together for so long =/
Well things aren't looking that great at the moment...I have a huge debt (over $2400) thanks to the overcharging practices of Optus....bastards....meh I'll just avoid purchasing any optus product in the future >=D On top of that....I still haven't got a call from my "employer" =.= Gah life is a pain =/
Damn...it has always been my job to clean up the mess in the house and I don't feel like cleaning up this one. Fuck it, it's not my job. I'm going to sit here and drink my TED (Toohey's Extra Dry for future references), relax and watch the events unfold. Too bad someone else has to pick up the pieces though.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
29 March, 2010
06 March, 2010
Restricted
It's 4am in the morning and I'm still awake but it's not like I haven't done something constructive. In the past 3 hours I have applied for 3 jobs online and contemplated how society is going down the drain. Let me clear this up a bit, I don't mean society is completely shit but it looks like it's heading that way.
All of these new laws and restrictions that are poised to strike society are doing more harm than good despite the intentions. Remember, someone said (I can never remember the guy who said this =/): "The greatest harm can come from the best of intentions". This is by far one of the most accurate descriptions I can think of regarding those damned "anti-smacking" laws. These laws prevented parents from physically abusing their children in public BUT COME ON! Kids these days are running rampant, screaming at the top of their lungs, walking as if they have a right to every single little thing, swearing at their parents, swearing at strangers, swearing at fucking everyone! I know what some people are thinking right about now...the kids can't help how they behave, they're kids. Fuck off. Right now. Get the fuck away from this site. Never come back until you realise it's both society and the parent's fault (I would also like to blame christianity but that would offend too many people...wait too late already did).
When these restrictions on disciplining your children came into place, I'm sure it was largely supported but....did anyone really think of the children? Like really thought about how they would turn out not just how they were being treated. A punch is too far, a kick, obviously. Throwing? Ok....too far (no pun intended). But a slap to the face? Hell, I think that's a perfectly fine way to discipline a child, especially if the kid has been a complete wrecking machine or like a rabid dog. If your kid was screaming his/her head off just for the sake of a fucking chocolate bar and threw a tantrum just to get it. Fuck. You slap that kid's face. It will shut the damned brat up and teach em never to do it again. Just the threat of you doing again is a deterrent. Key word: AGAIN.
I swear...kids these days, they have no respect for anyone older than themselves, no discipline and absolutely no sense of responsibility for their own actions. Once again I point my finger at society. Sure, kids have a right to not be abused but the rest of us (the majority) have a right not to be abused by brats. The media went into a frenzy just because a mother slapped her child in a shopping center a few years back. At that time, I thought "good parent" but the fucking annoying and overwhelmingly loud minority of "think of the children" retarded mothers (I say mothers instead of parents....it's always the rich wife who's devoted to religion that sparks this kind of idiocy), scream out for blood. They believe that children can be taught to be civilised without the use of discipline. Well yea...your snot nosed brat has everything he/she wants, why wouldn't the "planned" accident be errr....."civilised" =.=
Continuing on...The hysteria over a single slap...it was enough to increase the amount of children running amok. What could the reasonable parents do? They couldn't even hit their child due to the fear that they too would be prosecuted for such a necessary act of minute violence to maintain order as well as educate. If I ever saw a parent discipline their child in public for a good reason (I can think of so damn many good reasons....), I swear...that parent should be given some kind of award for having the guts to stop curb their offspring. It's the duty of a parent to take care of their child and teaching the kid proper etiquette is a vital part of that. I'm no parent but as a young adult coming to terms with himself, I honestly believe that being disciplined as a child in both public and private was beneficial to me. I didn't just get slapped....I'm asian, my dad WAS beyond strict so....let your imagination run wild, no seriously, let it run really wild. Make sure to include the sound of a bamboo cane swinging through the air....good times =/
Anyways, from just this simple restriction, a huge proportion of the later part of my generation and the almost the entirety of generations thereafter are simply too free in their upbringing creating senselessly violent and self righteous people. This might just be a generalisation but hell, the argument of everything being done for the children has been overused and is completely abused by every loudmouthed religious control freak (fucking fanatics....go play god somewhere else, preferably in isolation). The argument, valid as it may be in many cases, is now being used by the bloody government as an excuse to implement an internet filter.
Sure...the filter sounds reasonable in theory to someone who doesn't realise wtf the filter really means. Blocking website that contain offensive material involving children doesn't sound bad, in fact it sounds pretty good.....but is it the right thing to do? Fuck. No. An internet filter is just another word for internet censorship. CENSORSHIP! Grrrr... Yes, an excuse to be able to edit any and all incoming and outgoing data that goes through the australian internet connection. Sure it MIGHT prevent kids from watching porn or w/e but that's never gonna stop an adolescent boy from watching porn. Duh. It's the parent's duty to monitor the activities of the child. IT'S THE PARENT'S DUTY TO ENSURE THAT THE KID DOESN'T GET ACCESS TO WHATEVER THE PARENT DEEMS INAPPROPRIATE! It's not the government's job, it never was, and it NEVER should be. If the internet is censored....opinions will disappear and information will be erased or blocked. Any negative views will be removed from public access....we'll become like china....fml. No freedom of information. Information is extremely valuable so having a lack of access to information will cause people to be more easily manipulated by both the government and the media. Wiki the TAMPA incident for an example.
In any case, I just really had to get this off my chest. Society is going to be fucked. Look at it. With each new restriction designed to prevent the decline of morals and integrity, the descent into chaos increases ten fold. If children are the future....then why are we fucking them up? These protections are simply causing our future to become bleak and chaotic. Not to mention COMPLETELY FUCKED UP!
I'd just like to say thank you to all the idiotic religious housewives with too much time on their hands for starting public outcries and giving a government an excuse to control every aspect of our lives. In case you didn't notice, this entire paragraph is drenched with sarcasm. Thanks again....now go rot by yourself, I don't wanna get dragged down along with you.
Last thing,
To all you parents who actually do know how to discipline your children, Bravo! YOu all deserve medals or some kind of award =] (This obviously doesn't include the idiots I mentioned before). So yea, keep up the good work and hopefully there are more of you out there!
All of these new laws and restrictions that are poised to strike society are doing more harm than good despite the intentions. Remember, someone said (I can never remember the guy who said this =/): "The greatest harm can come from the best of intentions". This is by far one of the most accurate descriptions I can think of regarding those damned "anti-smacking" laws. These laws prevented parents from physically abusing their children in public BUT COME ON! Kids these days are running rampant, screaming at the top of their lungs, walking as if they have a right to every single little thing, swearing at their parents, swearing at strangers, swearing at fucking everyone! I know what some people are thinking right about now...the kids can't help how they behave, they're kids. Fuck off. Right now. Get the fuck away from this site. Never come back until you realise it's both society and the parent's fault (I would also like to blame christianity but that would offend too many people...wait too late already did).
When these restrictions on disciplining your children came into place, I'm sure it was largely supported but....did anyone really think of the children? Like really thought about how they would turn out not just how they were being treated. A punch is too far, a kick, obviously. Throwing? Ok....too far (no pun intended). But a slap to the face? Hell, I think that's a perfectly fine way to discipline a child, especially if the kid has been a complete wrecking machine or like a rabid dog. If your kid was screaming his/her head off just for the sake of a fucking chocolate bar and threw a tantrum just to get it. Fuck. You slap that kid's face. It will shut the damned brat up and teach em never to do it again. Just the threat of you doing again is a deterrent. Key word: AGAIN.
I swear...kids these days, they have no respect for anyone older than themselves, no discipline and absolutely no sense of responsibility for their own actions. Once again I point my finger at society. Sure, kids have a right to not be abused but the rest of us (the majority) have a right not to be abused by brats. The media went into a frenzy just because a mother slapped her child in a shopping center a few years back. At that time, I thought "good parent" but the fucking annoying and overwhelmingly loud minority of "think of the children" retarded mothers (I say mothers instead of parents....it's always the rich wife who's devoted to religion that sparks this kind of idiocy), scream out for blood. They believe that children can be taught to be civilised without the use of discipline. Well yea...your snot nosed brat has everything he/she wants, why wouldn't the "planned" accident be errr....."civilised" =.=
Continuing on...The hysteria over a single slap...it was enough to increase the amount of children running amok. What could the reasonable parents do? They couldn't even hit their child due to the fear that they too would be prosecuted for such a necessary act of minute violence to maintain order as well as educate. If I ever saw a parent discipline their child in public for a good reason (I can think of so damn many good reasons....), I swear...that parent should be given some kind of award for having the guts to stop curb their offspring. It's the duty of a parent to take care of their child and teaching the kid proper etiquette is a vital part of that. I'm no parent but as a young adult coming to terms with himself, I honestly believe that being disciplined as a child in both public and private was beneficial to me. I didn't just get slapped....I'm asian, my dad WAS beyond strict so....let your imagination run wild, no seriously, let it run really wild. Make sure to include the sound of a bamboo cane swinging through the air....good times =/
Anyways, from just this simple restriction, a huge proportion of the later part of my generation and the almost the entirety of generations thereafter are simply too free in their upbringing creating senselessly violent and self righteous people. This might just be a generalisation but hell, the argument of everything being done for the children has been overused and is completely abused by every loudmouthed religious control freak (fucking fanatics....go play god somewhere else, preferably in isolation). The argument, valid as it may be in many cases, is now being used by the bloody government as an excuse to implement an internet filter.
Sure...the filter sounds reasonable in theory to someone who doesn't realise wtf the filter really means. Blocking website that contain offensive material involving children doesn't sound bad, in fact it sounds pretty good.....but is it the right thing to do? Fuck. No. An internet filter is just another word for internet censorship. CENSORSHIP! Grrrr... Yes, an excuse to be able to edit any and all incoming and outgoing data that goes through the australian internet connection. Sure it MIGHT prevent kids from watching porn or w/e but that's never gonna stop an adolescent boy from watching porn. Duh. It's the parent's duty to monitor the activities of the child. IT'S THE PARENT'S DUTY TO ENSURE THAT THE KID DOESN'T GET ACCESS TO WHATEVER THE PARENT DEEMS INAPPROPRIATE! It's not the government's job, it never was, and it NEVER should be. If the internet is censored....opinions will disappear and information will be erased or blocked. Any negative views will be removed from public access....we'll become like china....fml. No freedom of information. Information is extremely valuable so having a lack of access to information will cause people to be more easily manipulated by both the government and the media. Wiki the TAMPA incident for an example.
In any case, I just really had to get this off my chest. Society is going to be fucked. Look at it. With each new restriction designed to prevent the decline of morals and integrity, the descent into chaos increases ten fold. If children are the future....then why are we fucking them up? These protections are simply causing our future to become bleak and chaotic. Not to mention COMPLETELY FUCKED UP!
I'd just like to say thank you to all the idiotic religious housewives with too much time on their hands for starting public outcries and giving a government an excuse to control every aspect of our lives. In case you didn't notice, this entire paragraph is drenched with sarcasm. Thanks again....now go rot by yourself, I don't wanna get dragged down along with you.
Last thing,
To all you parents who actually do know how to discipline your children, Bravo! YOu all deserve medals or some kind of award =] (This obviously doesn't include the idiots I mentioned before). So yea, keep up the good work and hopefully there are more of you out there!
05 February, 2010
My word is worth nothing
I'm full of it. Full of shit. I can't even keep a promise to my best mates anymore. I don't even think I have the right to call them mates. Over reacting you say? Please...you don't know half of it. Allow me to ellaborate.
I am technically employed but the amount of money I get from my current occupation is practically nil. So let's go with jobless =/ Anyway...I have a debt that isn't going away anytime soon unless some place decides to hire me in the next week or so. I'm so desperate for cash right now that I'm considering going back to working at McDonald's....Yea.....You heard me right...Maccas...The one place I told myself I was finally free from, the stigma that finally washed away after a year of severing ties with the place that had me endure a few years of ridicule and many nicknames.
The money that I was supposed to spend on paying off my debts....was spent on paying the rent that my parents were supposed to pay for. Are my parents that financially fucked? Why am I the one paying for their mistakes? Why am I the one causing others to suffer because I can't shove my foolish pride away and work at a place I cannot bear to stand in. Why am I so irresponsible? Why do I feel no pain or remorse? Don't answer, none of these questions can really be answered by you....whoever the hell you are.
I wonder if I'll survive this situation with my head held high....or will I be crawling through the scum of society with nothing to support me? I've thought about this for a while....and the only solution I can find is to do the following.
1. Clear my current personal debts to other people by increasing my debt.
2. Find and secure a stable job.
3. Pay off all my other debts.
4. Move out as soon as the last payment is made.
5. Sever ties with my family.
6. Continue my education.
7. Save a significant amount of money.
8. Take some time off.
9. Face the consequences.
Well, it's time I started isn't it? Don't wish me luck, luck hates me and you do too.
27 December, 2009
What's in it for me?
Opportunities have come and gone, wishes have been both fulfilled and forgotten, dreams have been shattered and reforged but it's time to make new opportunities, new wishes and carve out a new path for my dreams. This year has been kind of shit in general....but this month has been the worst month I have EVER experienced and I'm glad that both this year and month are going to be over soon. And NO I'm not exaggerating....wanna know why? If your answer was NO then too bad I'm telling you anyway! Leave if you don't wanna know but hear me out a bit...
First of all my family has been through something akin to hell. I was hospitalised because they thought I had cancer...relatives concerned as hell even though I didn't have it...a false alarm of sorts...BUT then my cousin was diagnosed with bowel cancer fuck....he looked so damn weak after the surgery....again with the concern and stress for everyone involved...Don't worry he's fine now but still...shit times
A few months after that my grandma was hospitalised after breaking her hip. I know, I know no big deal she's old, I can honestly say I'm not that worried...but seeing someone lose their mind is more painful than anything I take...even if that person isn't someone I'm particularly close to. Dementia is fucked. There's no other way of putting it. If I develop something that fucks up my mind or makes me lose my precious memories of all things good and bad....something like Alzheimer's SOMEBODY SHOOT ME!!! No seriously, shoot me in the head to put me out of my misery. I'm not taking it lying down being pitied and coddled. So anyways...during this period of time which was only a few weeks ago...my mum's dad died. Again not too close to him nor did I really care about him that much. BUT FUCK!!! My mum's breakdown right after hearing the news was more than I could bear...it's only been a few days since we got the news...so she's gone completely mental. Crying for her dad...screaming abuse at both me and my dad....blaming us for his death....falling back on a shit belief system that manipulates its believers through fear....aka christianity. Go die religion, you have no place in the world! So where was I? Right...not only has my mum's pappy dropped dead as well as my dad's mum lost the plot....my favourite uncle has developed cancer as well....shit times when everyone around you resorts to abusing each other to escape from their depression.
While I'm still raving on about escape I might as well tell you how my xmas went =/
Screaming anguish bursts into my ears demolishing whatever calm state of mind I was in...The sound of ceramic shattering across the kitchen followed by the roar of an enraged beast tormented by the abuse spewing forth from one who is in a mentally unstable condition...The sounds come closer...The cry for "help".... alright fuck the story I can;t be fucked writing it creatively. Short summary, mum's gone bonkers, blames dad, screams more abuse at dad, dad tries to stay calm, dad can't take it anymore...throws cup, rages, both argue, mum comes towards my room screaming for help after provoking my dad...I can't pretend to sleep anymore...I get in between the two swearing my ass off at my brother who did nothing but back up my mum...I end up holding back my dad and alternate between telling him to calm down and tell my my mum to shut up. Dad leaves the house to who knows where, mum shuts up and my brother goes to work at maccas...I get dressed and leave to walk in the rain to some unknown destination. Before I know it, I'm at st george leagues club =.= An hour later I get a call from Victor (Xiong) to come over after he's done with work. My xmas is somewhat salvaged by both him and Frank Miao...it's nice to know that there's always a ray of hope in a raging storm.
Ahhh fuck it...screw the bitching....time for a change! Time for new hopes and aspirations! Time to get the fuck outta this hole and away from its fucked up denizens!
Hey....I could fullay make a news years resolution list right about now...I mean why the hell not? I want out and a fresh beginning so...Let's get started NOW!!!
- Move out
- Get a job that earns me $20,000-$35,000 per year
- Keep said job
- Learn to save at least $5000
- Buy a coffee machine and blender
- Learn how to make Japanese Cuisine
- Learn how to make Butter Chicken and possibly other indian curry
- Earn a decent reputation for something
- Attempt the Menya Godzilla Ramen Challenge =D
- Get my Learner's License
- Learn how to play drums
- Become more understanding
- Become more organised
- Exercise more
- Finish my costume
- Cosplay at an anime convention
- Sell a costume
- Learn how to dance
- Go to Japan
- Work in Japan for a short amount of time
And that's all I can think of at the moment ^^
Anyways, I'd like to thank all my friends, associates and workmates who've provided me with support, kindness and most importantly their presence/existence. I've met a huge variety of people this year...and I think I'll stay in contact with a majority of those people. So what I'd like to say is...Thanks for being there and being who you are! <3 you all! <3s all round! (cept for my family....they can go <3-less)
Let's look forward to a new year filled with new beginning s and plenty of opportunities for us all to grow and succeed!!! 2010! Let's start again!
23 December, 2009
Jingle Bell Blues
The giving and receiving of wrapped goods, the festivities, the holiday cheer, the mythical figures, the sky rocketing retail prices disguised as discounts, the boxing day sales, the time spent with family usually resulting in an ugly argument and the obscene amount of commercialism everywhere. Yes, it's almost Christmas...time for the jolly fat man in red to struggle down that chimney of yours....that is if you even have one =/
Christmas....ahh the memories of being an asian kid who never recieved the extravagant presents that all the white kids got...the memories of my parents bickering over the smallest things...in other words shit times =.=
So yea, Christmas has never been a big or even pleasant thing for me. Every year I pretend to be happy to everyone, greeting nearly everyone I know with a cheerful "Merry Christmas!" which is a good way to avoid spreading my nihilistic feeling to the overwhelmingly cheerful people that I happen to know =/ Then again...It's a great way to milk tips out of an unsuspecting customer/patron at w/e venue/establishment I'm at!
To be honest, I think I'm getting too good at masking my emotions at times...to the point where I don't know how I'm actually feeling sometimes. Maybe I should take up acting...ahhh fuck it acting will get me nowhere....or will it? Well....in any case I've neglected this semi-finished post for about a week now so I should finish it ^^;
I've noticed a pattern when it comes to the ol' family arguments. My mum will bring up shit that has no relevance to the argument whatsoever but that shit she brings up is something both me and my dad believe should stay flushed down. Shit like my hsc results....WTF HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH ME LOOKING FOR A JOB!?!? I know they were shit but....come on it's been at least a year since that shit went down. My dad's gambling problems have nothing to do with my grandma being hospital so....once again wtf...my mum is like a regurgitating toilet throwing back up shit and piss all over us when we try to flush our problems away. I think we've all had enough of the toilet analogies for one day so yea back to the point.
Whenever there's an argument everyone gets involved and everyone has their part. Here are the re occurring roles that we play in this fiasco of a drama.
I've noticed a pattern when it comes to the ol' family arguments. My mum will bring up shit that has no relevance to the argument whatsoever but that shit she brings up is something both me and my dad believe should stay flushed down. Shit like my hsc results....WTF HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH ME LOOKING FOR A JOB!?!? I know they were shit but....come on it's been at least a year since that shit went down. My dad's gambling problems have nothing to do with my grandma being hospital so....once again wtf...my mum is like a regurgitating toilet throwing back up shit and piss all over us when we try to flush our problems away. I think we've all had enough of the toilet analogies for one day so yea back to the point.
Whenever there's an argument everyone gets involved and everyone has their part. Here are the re occurring roles that we play in this fiasco of a drama.
- Mum as the Gullible Tormentor: She's the typical bitch in a way. Will insert comments and bring up issues from the past repetitively during an argument. Zealot of the abominable religion known as Australian Chinese Radio which is a conservative chinese christian radio channel that likes to badmouth everything that does not conform to their beliefs. She'll also pretend to be the victim when she starts to lose ground. May plead for insanity when brought to court.
- Dad as the Aged Beserker: Logical and calm until something hits a spot where it shouldn't. With many years of experience in many things (some which should not be revealed), he is patient until someone manages to break through the calm and bring on the inevitable throwing of objects in his raging state. May also plead for insanity when brought to court.
- Myself as the Weary Pacifier: He usually observes the conflict until it looks as if the Beserker has reached his limit. The Pacifier will also attempt to stem the abuse spewed forth by the Tormentor resulting in the Pacifier to receive a barrage of abuse as well. Uses himself as a physical meat shield to prevent any physical harm to others. Will plea for insanity if brought to court.
- My Younger Brother as the Tormentor's Minion: Loyal to the Tormentor, he is always there to back her up in almost every conflict. Fat and cowardly, he will retreat if the Pacifier shows signs of anger. The Minion will never try to stem the flow abuse that the Tormentor brings forth instead he will try to aggravate both the Beserker and Pacifier using similar insults and comments as the Tormentor herself. Most sane yet most conniving of the family.
So here I am, 2 days before Xmas finishing up a blog while family members all around the world seem to be getting hospitalised. The family members in question are: My grandma (dad's side), Uncle (dad's side), Granddad (mum's side) and my cousing was for a short period of time...So yea my family has had a shit run of luck this year fml...
Fuck this I'm jumping ship when the opportunity presents itself.... And guess what? An opportunity has presented itself! I'll tell you about that some other time but for now...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HOPE YOU HAVE A BETTER ONE THAN ME!!!
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