Too much free time and a lack of employment at the moment means I am bored out of my mind. Fuck my life, I really don't see why I can't get a stable job. I've seen the type of people they hire instead of me in some places and FUCK they can't do shit. The other day I walked into a bar and asked for a caprioska....and you know what? The guy didn't have a clue on how the fuck to make one, I told him step by step on how to make it....but the idiot didn't have any idea what a muddler was. Fucking hell. I walked him through it and shook it myself. Bloody idiot. In any case, I'm just bitching my ass off simply because I have too much free time on my hands. Fuck it. Tomorrow I'm going down to cockle bay wharf and darling harbour to find myself a new fucking job as soon as possible. I'll head out early just to make sure. Fuck I can't even use paragraphs anymore hahahah. I'm probably swearing too much but fuck it, I don't care. All I want is to get some more cash doing what I'm good at and what I enjoy.
No point just staying here and bitching about it...It's time for some action =D
29 May, 2010
25 May, 2010
Inane ramblings: Part 2
"If you don't say anything, no one will know", this is probably why I still blog...no that's not it. It IS the reason why I still blog. I want to be heard. I want my existence acknowledged. I want to be remembered. I want to be understood. I'm being selfish. We all are. Humans strive to have their existence acknowledged by others. This is why we (despite our ardent objections and denials) crave information about celebrities and possibly fantasise about being known by the world.
Being self aware means knowing what it means to be alone, knowing that existence has an end but it also means pushing the limits of we can achieve before we perish. Why waste time being sad, being angry or being annoyed when we can just live for the moment and the future? Dwelling on things only makes it worse but thanks to guilt ridden society we live in it's fucking impossible. Especially since society as a whole is mainly dominated by two things: The english language and christianity. Here's why I believe this.
The english language provides the world with the shittest guilt tripping word in all of man kind: SHOULD. Fucking should. Just using that word implies guilt and reflection on your actions/thoughts/feelings/everything else. "Should" should be banished from any and all vocabularies. You should have, I should have, We should have, They should have....All of these phrases have one thing in common: Accusatory connotation. Fuck I'll leave it that. I don't like the word. I'm trying not to use it =/
Christianity...ahhh....my most hated religion. Dominance, social segregation, depression, unnecessary guilt, manipulation, arrogance, corruption, hatred, stupidity and too much other shit. Let's go on about each of the things I've mentioned shall we?
Note to zealous christians: If this offends you, kindly leave before you are offended and invite the wrath of your non-existent god on me =]
Dominance: "Believe in god", the ten commandments, ranking in the priesthood, hell, the celibacy of the priesthood, heaven, etc. Obeying one all mighty being that doesn't have a confirmed tangible form is just asking to be dominated and used. Fuck I won't go into a lot of detail for any of this or I won't stop. In fact I have a feeling that whatever I type after this will somehow relate to domination =/
Social segregation: I wonder who actually wrote the fucking bible. Must've been some puritan king of some sort who had a lot of issues and delusions. Anyways, I'm only gonna say a few words: Believe or you'll die, believe in something else and we'll kill you. What else is there to do but separate into to different groups to avoid retarded zealots? =/
Depression and Unnecessary guilt: Ahhhh....the concept of sin. "This is sin. That is sin. There is sin all around us." Shut the fuck up you retard. Sin is the creation of puritans. Not having any fun or having any sense of enjoyment is tantamount to giving up on life. Don't push your depression on me or anyone else. Fucking puritans. Oh right...I was supposed to be saying something else =/ Anyways confessional box and "confessing" this and that thing. I did this shit thing, I was horny, I had a wank, I had root, I had a fucking drink. Need I say any more?
Fuck I really "shouldn't" continue on my bitching. In fact I won't. This'll take hours to finish and I don't really have the time to be indignant nor will I bother typing this again unless I really need to vent.
[Insert: La di da di da and whatever, so on and so forth, something something something and insert some other shit that sounds meaningful but isn't and some random message to conclude]
Currently reading: "The interpretation of dreams" ~ Freud
Being self aware means knowing what it means to be alone, knowing that existence has an end but it also means pushing the limits of we can achieve before we perish. Why waste time being sad, being angry or being annoyed when we can just live for the moment and the future? Dwelling on things only makes it worse but thanks to guilt ridden society we live in it's fucking impossible. Especially since society as a whole is mainly dominated by two things: The english language and christianity. Here's why I believe this.
The english language provides the world with the shittest guilt tripping word in all of man kind: SHOULD. Fucking should. Just using that word implies guilt and reflection on your actions/thoughts/feelings/everything else. "Should" should be banished from any and all vocabularies. You should have, I should have, We should have, They should have....All of these phrases have one thing in common: Accusatory connotation. Fuck I'll leave it that. I don't like the word. I'm trying not to use it =/
Christianity...ahhh....my most hated religion. Dominance, social segregation, depression, unnecessary guilt, manipulation, arrogance, corruption, hatred, stupidity and too much other shit. Let's go on about each of the things I've mentioned shall we?
Note to zealous christians: If this offends you, kindly leave before you are offended and invite the wrath of your non-existent god on me =]
Dominance: "Believe in god", the ten commandments, ranking in the priesthood, hell, the celibacy of the priesthood, heaven, etc. Obeying one all mighty being that doesn't have a confirmed tangible form is just asking to be dominated and used. Fuck I won't go into a lot of detail for any of this or I won't stop. In fact I have a feeling that whatever I type after this will somehow relate to domination =/
Social segregation: I wonder who actually wrote the fucking bible. Must've been some puritan king of some sort who had a lot of issues and delusions. Anyways, I'm only gonna say a few words: Believe or you'll die, believe in something else and we'll kill you. What else is there to do but separate into to different groups to avoid retarded zealots? =/
Depression and Unnecessary guilt: Ahhhh....the concept of sin. "This is sin. That is sin. There is sin all around us." Shut the fuck up you retard. Sin is the creation of puritans. Not having any fun or having any sense of enjoyment is tantamount to giving up on life. Don't push your depression on me or anyone else. Fucking puritans. Oh right...I was supposed to be saying something else =/ Anyways confessional box and "confessing" this and that thing. I did this shit thing, I was horny, I had a wank, I had root, I had a fucking drink. Need I say any more?
Fuck I really "shouldn't" continue on my bitching. In fact I won't. This'll take hours to finish and I don't really have the time to be indignant nor will I bother typing this again unless I really need to vent.
[Insert: La di da di da and whatever, so on and so forth, something something something and insert some other shit that sounds meaningful but isn't and some random message to conclude]
Currently reading: "The interpretation of dreams" ~ Freud
Inane ramblings: Part 1
I find myself realising things about myself more and more often these days, maybe it's because of the free time I have to myself or maybe it has something to do with what I've read recently but nevertheless I find myself probing deeper into myself and extracting the reasons for why I do things the way I do.
I'm impulsive and quite reactive. I tend to overreact and comment on almost any given circumstance which is...I suppose a failing of mine but hey it's not like I want to be a retard half the time, I just like to show what I think/feel at the time rather than let it eat me up on the inside. Leaving shit inside will just make that shit fester and fuck you up unless it's something moderately sweet or satisfying. And I just realised I'm rambling and going around in circles again =/
Anyways...I've found out what kind of girl I feel attracted to =O Yea...I know, random... Now shut up and let me continue =P I like a gal who's got a brain....and actually uses it, a gal who can think of her own views, a girl who can stand up for herself and fights for her own place in the world, in other words someone with strength of mind or something like that. I'm not saying that looks aren't a factor like come on! Guys are shallow creatures and so are girls....to a certain extent but not so much as guys hahhaha....I've pissed someone off haven't I...? Shit... Well in any case, that's what I've found out quite recently while sorting through some of the memories of my feelings and sentimental crap like that. Stop laughing! Nah fuck it, laugh away!
Lalalala now that I've revealed that bit of insignificant (to you, not me) information, I can't be fucked typing up anything on here.....oh wait here's another revelation of sorts or well errr a uhhh confession to make... I love to gamble. Noooo I don't mean I love to gamble money, don't get me wrong I enjoy gambling, I like the shiny lights and the ding ding of the blackjack machine but what I mean by gamble is taking risks on things. I like to risk part of my future on going to some random place and asking for a job that may or may not be stable. I like to risk my possible freedom in taking up said jobs that might not even pay me. It might not sound like much...but it is gambling in its own way. I mean if I take a bar job that only offers graveyard shifts and continue studying...aren't I risking my chance at getting into a uni course that I want? Aren't I risking my mental health? Could I possibly be slightly insane? Yes, yes and YES.
Well to cap this crap off I'd like to share what I think of life now. Life is like my favourite gambling game: Blackjack. You can stand where you are and hope for the best and hope that life has dealt you the right cards or you can take a chance and hit and hope that you get the card that you need to gain the upper hand. Wow....that kind of made sense =D
I'm impulsive and quite reactive. I tend to overreact and comment on almost any given circumstance which is...I suppose a failing of mine but hey it's not like I want to be a retard half the time, I just like to show what I think/feel at the time rather than let it eat me up on the inside. Leaving shit inside will just make that shit fester and fuck you up unless it's something moderately sweet or satisfying. And I just realised I'm rambling and going around in circles again =/
Anyways...I've found out what kind of girl I feel attracted to =O Yea...I know, random... Now shut up and let me continue =P I like a gal who's got a brain....and actually uses it, a gal who can think of her own views, a girl who can stand up for herself and fights for her own place in the world, in other words someone with strength of mind or something like that. I'm not saying that looks aren't a factor like come on! Guys are shallow creatures and so are girls....to a certain extent but not so much as guys hahhaha....I've pissed someone off haven't I...? Shit... Well in any case, that's what I've found out quite recently while sorting through some of the memories of my feelings and sentimental crap like that. Stop laughing! Nah fuck it, laugh away!
Lalalala now that I've revealed that bit of insignificant (to you, not me) information, I can't be fucked typing up anything on here.....oh wait here's another revelation of sorts or well errr a uhhh confession to make... I love to gamble. Noooo I don't mean I love to gamble money, don't get me wrong I enjoy gambling, I like the shiny lights and the ding ding of the blackjack machine but what I mean by gamble is taking risks on things. I like to risk part of my future on going to some random place and asking for a job that may or may not be stable. I like to risk my possible freedom in taking up said jobs that might not even pay me. It might not sound like much...but it is gambling in its own way. I mean if I take a bar job that only offers graveyard shifts and continue studying...aren't I risking my chance at getting into a uni course that I want? Aren't I risking my mental health? Could I possibly be slightly insane? Yes, yes and YES.
Well to cap this crap off I'd like to share what I think of life now. Life is like my favourite gambling game: Blackjack. You can stand where you are and hope for the best and hope that life has dealt you the right cards or you can take a chance and hit and hope that you get the card that you need to gain the upper hand. Wow....that kind of made sense =D
11 May, 2010
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