Distracted from apathy =]

Ok, I'm good now. It's all good, the past is the past and whatever happened, happened and there's turning back. So whatever =] In other news, I've decided to play Gridiron xD The good ol american sport of strength, speed, skill and tactics. There's nothing like it in Australia....Rugby is meh....it's alright but it has nothing on Gridiron ahahaha. I plan on trying out for Wide Receiver or Corner Back! Both are catching positions but both require a fair bit of speed.

Anyways, I plan on going skydiving in July just to throw it all away or something deep and meaningful like that. Fun. SO I'd just like to say: I am perfectly fine albeit a little bit crazy ahahahaha. A 170-180cm asian kid playing gridiron....now that would be pretty crazy =P When I signed up for it, I found out that I was the only asian opting for full contact instead of playing "flag" hahahaa. Flag is like oztag in australia. There's no contact....well not really but yea, you were tags/flags on each side of you and you get "tackled" if one is removed. Per~ut~tee~ lame hahaha.

Hmmm....I know I'm probably gonna be a single dickhead for a very long time. And since I just got ummm....errr....need a not-so-harsh word for this...right...here it is: Declined! Yes, since I was declined recently (sounds a bit like a credit card doesn't it?), I don't think I'm prepared for another rush of emotions overriding every bit of my system. But I'm fine now. Exercising is one of the many ways I cope with things so no big deal.

Final words: SIS, CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU GO DOWN TO MELBOURNE AND DRAG HIS ASS BACK TO SYDNEY!! Wait...wait....STAY IN MELBOURNE!! SYDNEY SUCKS!!! STAY THERE!!!

I know I said final words but here are some more: Damn, need a STABLE JOB!

Faulty Electronics

I can't sleep, something is still on my mind. Damn it. I'm so....stricken...this isn't right. There's a video playing and the stop button won't work. I feel as if my mind has become a broken dvd player, playing the same dvd over and over with no way of ejecting the disc. Why am I like this? I should be able to accept it and move on...but the fucking eject button won't work!

So many things I wanted to say yet I lacked the guts to do so. So many things I wanted to do but they will never come to pass. One step down one path means leaving the other behind but.....why do I see my own footprints?

I knew the answer. I asked for it even though I knew. I took that answer. That should have been final. But. Why? Why aren't I anywhere near shutting down these “feelings”? Why hasn't the dvd player been unplugged? Why? Why can't I just move the hell on already?

Was listening to:

You Give Me Something – James Morrison
All Your Reasons – Matchbox 20
If My Heart Was A House – Owl City
Unwell – Matchbox 20
How You Remind Me – Nickelback
Addicted – Ellegarden

Well, time to smash the dvd player against the wall and see if that'll eject the disc. Maybe it'll be enough to put me to sleep.

Distracted

Whenever I take a shower or have a quiet smoke on my own, I tend to think about things....things like my future, what I've been doing lately, how satisfied I am with myself and all those other thoughts that make you melancholic. No one knows what the future will hold, so wondering about my own future is pointless but somewhat entertaining in its own way...you know what I mean? Like...planning too far ahead just for the sake of it, you know, making outrageous plans for the future that will probably never come true hahahaha....fuck. 

But yea, it has come to my attention that I am without a doubt, too much of an optimist when it comes to my own future excluding any and all connections to girls....unless those plans include opening up a strip club but that ain't gonna happen...wait a sec....there's an idea...nah that would be kinda pathetic...ahahahaa. In any case, I tend to think on the positive side when I plan something, disregarding all the problems that might come my way then I get overexcited about whatever it is I might be planning. But hey, a guy has got to have some dreams right? Dream big or don't dream at all, risk all or don't risk anything, do or die and some other random things (think of them yourself, I'm way too lazy right now).  

Rightio I'm still in a douschey mood so I'm gonna be a total retard, as per usual...nevertheless I am going to plow through my thoughts again. Right now, I am in no way satisfied with myself, I'm employed but the job doesn't seem to give me shifts (again....why....), I still have that debt floating over my head and I'm still pretty iffy about my body. Nothing I can do about the job except look for another one =/ I've been doing random exercises everyday just to see if it has any effect on me, here's a list of crap I do =P

- About 200-300 push ups each day (about 50-100 every 2 or so hours =/)

- 100-150 curls with shitty 5kg dumbbells (Sets of 50 =.=)

- 60-100 of those chest exercises, the one where you spread your arms with weights in em and bring your arms back to the centre, shit explanation but whatever =P

- 60-100 of the shitty triceps exercise, bend like a dousche and lift the weights backwards?

- 10-20 minutes of sit ups (usually for 3-5 minutes at a time...until my abdominal area is killing me ahahahha)

And there we go, my shitty everyday exercise thingo, I'm surprised I've kept with it and it kinda  makes me feel better about myself....except for the fact I'm only using 5kg =.= Phails....

I'm inept, incompetent, a total failure or what have you BUT I'm working on it...let's exclude the competency  with girls again, we all know I'm never going to improve on that ahahahaha.....errr....right...yea....back to me blabbering on about what the hell I'm trying to do. I've tried, I've failed, I've picked myself up and hurled myself against the wall again and again, took a break and started again but while doing that I haven't realised how futile it is. Maybe it's my imagination but I don't know when to give up, I'm still hitting that wall even though there's a nice even path right beside me.

I wonder what will last longer....the wall or me?

Fuck, I just realised this post has absolutely no coherent pattern or w/e, screw it, my posts never had any structure to begin with....well la~di~da~ I can't be bothered fixing it, back to doing random exercises to force out some endorphins.

Bored Again -sigh-

I'm bored so here's something that I randomly drink when I want some vitamin C without phlegm building up in my throat from the sugar in plain old juice. Here we go!

Fill half a glass/cup with orange juice. Fill the other half with soda water. Squeeze some lime juice into the drink. Ta~da! Simple yet oddly refreshing ahahaha. 

Random dessert =O

My epic Affogato>>

Ingredients: Premium Ice cream (Preferably White Chocolate or Vanilla but White Choc is better =P), Freshly brewed Expresso (Must have crema!), Frangelico.

1. Scoop a ball of ice cream into a coffee cup.

2. Using a coffee machine, brew expresso over the ice cream. Considering this is a dessert and not a drink, use no more than 45mL of expresso in other words, use no more than one and a half shots of expresso =]

3. Using a spoon coat the affogato with 30mL of Frangelico.

4.Serve in the cup on a plate with small dessert spoons.

This works for both winter and summer....wait....all year round ahahaha. Yea a bit rich so don't make it too often. Fullay goes well with a coffee or hot chocolate on the side. If serving with hot chocolate....go with vanilla ice cream, there's way too much sweetness if you have the white choc ice cream as well >.<

Fullay stuck at home....no work tonight Q___Q I still need money....gah....Please donate non existent money into my non existent fund to support me ^^;

Spiral into spaghetti

I have a new random take on life...well another random theory/analogy for life's opportunities. Life's opportunities are like a spiral, when life begins, you start on the outermost ring. At this point, there are almost an infinite amount of possibilities waiting for you but as you grow older, you move towards the center of the spiral, slowly but surely reducing the amount of opportunities that come your way. Sure you might have more money, experience and w/e but you're weighed down by responsibilities that pretty much halt any and all advances into another area. By the time you're almost dead, you've almost reached the center of the spiral and have shit all opportunities. Random theory? Yes. Stupid? Maybe. Nothing better to do? ummm...errr...damn it.

Lost my line of thought and randomly remembered some random recipes taught to me by a 3-4 star italian chef =D Better write them down before I forget.

Authentic Bolognaise! (Or close to it!)

Serves 4 or 8 small portions

Steak - at least half a kilo. Get it from the butcher's, it's cheaper and you can get whatever piece you want minced on demand.

Onion - One brown onion, diced

Celery - About 2-3 stalks, same amount as a diced onion

Carrot - Same amount as diced onion

Olive oil

Salt & Pepper

Red wine -  One glass (Personally I prefer Pinot Noir in cooking)

Tomatoes - A can of diced tomatoes will do nicely, sometimes its better than fresh tomatoes for some reason ahahaha

Spaghetti - 500g packet =P

1. Cook onions, celery and carrot in olive oil on medium-high until soft in a pot. 

2. Throw in the minced steak, cook until brown.

3. Add a pinch of salt and pepper, add glass of wine immediately after, stir thoroughly. (the wine will spread the salt and pepper through the sauce evenly not to mention it will add some nice flavour =]). Errr...Boil? (or keep it on medium high) for about 5 minutes to remove alcohol.

4. Add the tomatoes. Stir through well. Allow the sauce to simmer for another 5 minutes. 

5. Add Spaghetti (I'm assuming you cooked it while the sauce was being prepared). Stir, mix well etc whatever you wanna call it.

6. Serve, duh

Random spaghetti tip from the italian guy: For spaghetti el dente or proper spaghetti or something like that, cook spaghetti until it has a very thin line of flour left in the middle. Take a bite to check. The thing is, the pasta will cook once when you boil it, a second time in the sauce, and it will still be cooking when you place it on the table. By the time you eat it, it'll be damn near perfect hahahha or something like that. Please DON'T blame me for your mistakes =P

Anyways, I really can't be bothered writing down how to make good gravy. SOOOO here's a shortcut. 

Buy chicken stock cubes. Make the stock. Boil down until it becomes consistent, like gravy-ish texture (you'll lose alotta water but gravy needs to be thick =P). Add the gravy powder thingo (something like gravox). Ta~da! Gravy!

Add green peppercorns at the end and cook for a while for peppercorn sauce.

Add button mushrooms at the end and cook for a while for mushroom sauce.

Add worcestershire sauce and cream at the end and cook for a while for diane sauce.

I can't be bothered writing down anymore details for this so yea...need something random to finish this post off....hmmm....errr...fuck....got nothing again. Screw it, I'm gonna watch Interview with the Vampire before I sleep so shut up and go back to your twilight films. If you actually considered that....you're on the wrong blog mate.