Can you hear me?

The one thing that's been bugging me for the last two weeks is how some people no matter how close they are to you, cannot understand your situation. I mean you can't understand something unless you've experienced it yourself firsthand. Lemme explain a bit more =/

You might be able to imagine or picture the circumstances but fuck you can't even begin to understand what it feels like, the emotions running through you, the thoughts, the fears, the survival instincts that kick in and whatever else. Yes, I can try and explain but....hell...you can't expect me to bare all, especially if it's something you're deeply ashamed of. I know I'm a fuck up, I know I can't be trusted by some people anymore and I know that they'll probably never talk to me again BUT how would you know how it feels? Do YOU have an extremely dysfunctional family? Do YOU have less privileges than ME? Do YOU have to earn YOUR OWN money? Did YOU pay for YOUR OWN things? If the answer is NO to more than one of the previous questions, the only thing you can do for me is advise. Ducky you're the only one I know who's been through this so you know what I mean =/

Hell I ain't taking anything for granted right now, I'm trying to fix my shit up (Debts among other things), sure I act all happy and carefree but seriously do YOU think you know ME? I've revealed a lot of things on this blog over the past year and yes it's more than what most people would divulge to random people browsing the web. This blog is just for my ranting and sometimes deepest thoughts but there are some things I can't put here but someday I think I will. That day may be today, tomorrow, next week or even 20 years from now, shit if I know.

The way I see it, if you can't see the situation from my point of view just ONCE...you've already given up on me. You've already left me behind by not trying to understand, it's essentially like shoving earplugs in your ears every time I try and explain myself. You just can't hear me. You say I don't listen but I do, it just takes a while to sink in but you.... you ignore my words completely.

These are just my thoughts after a week deprived of something essential...I may have become bitter (even more than before) but yea these are my honest down to earth thoughts/words. I know these words of mine will lead to a world of pain but hey I want a chance to show you what I think but then again you've covered your ears with your privileged life. I envy you.