So yea...In case you didn't know, I love money. I'm mercenary. Incredibly mercenary. I would sell my brother for money.....Wait.....Anyone who's met my brother would sell him if he was their sibling....Wait wait hold on that's wrong....Anyone who's met my brother would PAY to get rid of him. Let's not linger on my perceived hatred of my younger fatter hypocritical and extremely likely closet homosexual sibling simply because I won't shut up if I talk about him any longer than.....Fuck it wasn't necessary to begin with. ANYWAYS I have a new job. It pays awesome sauce. By awesome sauce I mean above minimum wage by a fair fuckload =D $15/hr is the minimum wage here in Australia. I get 24 fucking dollars an hour xD What do I do at my job you ask? Pfft as if you didn't know I'm almost obsessed with bartending =.=
So yea, I work at a pub called Covent Garden Hotel. The people are nice, the pub is clean, the beer is always available (unlike some OTHER bar I would mention....), the patrons/customers fairly amiable BUT (yes, there's ALWAYS going to be a "BUT" in any sentence jackass =P) the tips are fairly shit. Yes, you heard me. Despite me getting a sexy rate at 19 years of age I still whinge about how much I get tipped....Well shut the fuck up, I like my money more than I care for your opinion =P In any case, I like the place despite how eccentric some of my female coworkers are...Thanks for the advice Alice....I really needed to know that I shouldn't in your words "Go for the boobies!". Pure poetry =.=
Errr....Yea before getting sidetracked I was errr....ummm....yea.....explaining why I like my job ^^ I get shifts, I get paid, my rate is awesome sauce (it pisses awesome over nearly all my mate's pays =D) and I feel appreciated =] Before I got this job, I assumed all bartenders were competent with cocktails....I was wrong. Pubs don't need em...or so they think =P I got this job thanks in part to my knowledge of cocktails and the manager's current idea of implementing a cocktail menu =D So yea...I'm like the go to guy for cocktails at the bar hahahah. Awesome. I was even asked for my input for the cocktail list =D Damn I feel part of something again...Let's hope I don't screw it up ^^; Still...It feels a bit weird whenever someone orders a shot or cocktail and all the staff instantly look at me....Flattering yea but it's still a bit awkward. I mean I'm the youngest guy there, I'm not used to having more experience than people 5-15 years older than me o__O On the bright side of things...I get massively tipped for cocktails when the rare order comes through =D Shots I don't get tipped much for unfortunately...But cocktails...Oh sweet fucking [insert preferred deity]! Like the guy who ordered Long Island Ice Teas from me for his "friend" because it was HER favourite drink....looked more like a date to me =P So yea, he most likely wanted to impress his date and wanted something she liked. I didn't know about the gal til I went for a smoke break and saw him with his pretty gal =O Errr....sidetracked again zzzz.....Where was I? Right, the tip. So he ordered the Long Islands for himself and his bonnie lass and I charge him $18 simply because we don't have a cocktail button installed (and I cbf'd pressing house spirit 4 times but I do that now for cocktails cuz I don't wanna get fucked over....). So he gives me a $50 note and tells me to keep the change. What. The. Fuck? $32? EH!? WHA!? REALLY?! WHY!?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL! o__O Errr yea....That kinda knocked me off balance >< Totally didn't expect such a big tip. I'm used to getting $10 MAX for a cocktail tip....It only made sense when I noticed the gender of his so called "friend" ;)
Well I might as well be constructive after that bit of random rambling/recounting so I'll type out the cocktail and shooter list complete with instructions! I really can't be fucked to find pictures to accompany them so go find some on google yourself you lazy bastard =P
Please note: The amount specified is MY recipe not the pub's....something about not having more than 60mL in each drink....zzz
Vanilla Caprioska (WAIT I DID THIS BEFORE DIDN'T I!??! Ahhh w/e it was ages ago...I'll do this one the pub's way.....even though I suggested the recipe and modified it to fit in the shitty 60mL limit)
45mL Vodka (Preferably vanilla flavoured but the pub doesn't have it =[ )
15mL Galliano Vanilla
4 Wedges of Lime (I use a third to almost half a lime =P)
1-2 Tsp Sugar or 10mL Sugar Syrup
Muddle Lime and sugar/syrup in the shaker. Fill with Ice. Add liquor. Shake until shaker is bitingly cold (about 15-20 seconds should do it). Pour all contents into a highball glass (Yes that includes the lime and ice =.=). Garnish with well...fuck it doesn't need it but you can chuck in some maraschino cherries simply because they're awesome =D
Daquiri (Easily modified just like the caprioska. Great variations available just by adding a different liquor and the corresponding fruit =])
60mL Rum (45mL if adding flavours. 15mL of flavoured liquor and about 2 spoonfuls of w/e corresponding fruit)
4 Lime wedges
10mL Sugar Syrup
Soda Water
Muddle Lime and Sugar/Syrup in shaker. Fill with Ice. Add Liquor. Shake til bitingly cold. Strain into a cocktail glass (personally I double/triple strain to get rid of those tiny bits of lime floating around for aesthetics =P). Top with soda water.
To add flavours: Add fruit to the muddle. Like for a Berry Daquiri, get some berries (raspberries or blackberries or even blueberries....mmmm blueberries....) and add it to the muddle (in other words squashing the living shit out of it to get juices =D). Add berry liqueur after adding ice (something like chambord or blueberry liqueur is just what you need =]).
I think I'm getting lazy.....argh I'll keep going for the sake of making this post extremely fucking long =D Oh yea...If the shots add up to 60mL, I got lazy and abided by the pub recipes =/
Margarita
45mL Tequila
15mL Cointreau
30mL Lime Juice
Chill the cocktail glass. Fill the shaker with ice. Add all liquids (I'm lazy so shut up I already know it). Shake til the shaker freezes your hand or has a frosty look to it. Rub a slice of lime around the rim of the cocktail glass. Now invert the glass and dip the rim into some salt but not too fucking much. Put the glass upright you idiot and strain the drink into the cocktail glass =P Done.
Cbf with the cosmopolitan. Same shit as margarita. Don't salt rim. Replace tequila with Vodka. Reduce Lime to 15 mL and add 30mL cranberry Juice. Garnish with a wedge of lime. Enjoy =P
Long Island/Beach Ice Tea (The best damn tea you'll ever have. Too bad you can't drink alot of these =[)
15mL Vodka
15mL Cointreau
15mL Gin
15mL Rum
15mL Tequila
30mL Lemon Juice
10mL Sugar Syrup
Coke for Long Island Ice Tea or Cranberry Juice for a Long Beach Ice Tea
Fill shaker with Ice. Add alcohol, sugar syrup and lemon juice. Top with more ice cuz the ice will melt from the alcohol passing through. Shake that shit til it gets freezing =] Strain into a highball glass filled with ice. Top off with Coke for a Long Island or Cranberry Juice for a Long Beach.
Errr...forgot the rest of the cocktail list and I'll do the shots some other time....Damn I'm lazy =/
So yea I think I have ADHD. Check the symptoms. I have them all =/ I never would have guessed. I think it's because of that Hyper concentration trait inherent in all people with ADHD. I have an EXTREME amount of concentration when I'm reading and get into a book WAY too easily so that kind of prevents me from going all stereotypical ADHD on people. But I do exhibit symptoms. Severe restlessness, doing inappropriate things randomly in situations that require serious behaviour, running around for no reason and climbing things randomly, easily distracted, forgetting things easily, etc etc. Weird. My mind does run constantly though even if I look like I'm completely shitted and out of it. Yea...it would explain a lot =/
Anyways....1-2 hours spent on this shitty thing so I'm gonna nap for a few hours and hope my electronic cigarettes have arrived from the US.
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