Contentment is stagnation

It's been.....Hell I don't know when I last attempted to blog so I'll try and make up for lost time by rambling on and on excessively. Let's see...What's changed since I last wrote something here? Hmmm...Well the first thing that pops to mind would be my new job =D I can't believe I took time to think about that hahaha.....Shut up I haven't slept since waking up the day before after working for 3 days straight with minimal sleep alright?! >< Anyways, new job, lack of sleep, attempting to attempt completing my crappy diploma of business, less sleep, loss of weight (HOW!?!? I eat like 4x the normal amount!!), realisation I might have ADHD (I checked the symptoms recently and I fit the descriptions exactly.....Strange...I'll go into this later =]), broken promises, shattered hearts (pfft I'm obviously immune to this.....not .='[ ), misguided thoughts and an increase in my overall lack of sanity. Sounds about right ^^; Let's get on with this shit excuse for....Errrr shit! ....Come on at least shit is useful in fertilising other shit, all my blog does is....Shit on itself? =S

So yea...In case you didn't know, I love money. I'm mercenary. Incredibly mercenary. I would sell my brother for money.....Wait.....Anyone who's met my brother would sell him if he was their sibling....Wait wait hold on that's wrong....Anyone who's met my brother would PAY to get rid of him. Let's not linger on my perceived hatred of my younger fatter hypocritical and extremely likely closet homosexual sibling simply because I won't shut up if I talk about him any longer than.....Fuck it wasn't necessary to begin with. ANYWAYS I have a new job. It pays awesome sauce. By awesome sauce I mean above minimum wage by a fair fuckload =D $15/hr is the minimum wage here in Australia. I get 24 fucking dollars an hour xD What do I do at my job you ask? Pfft as if you didn't know I'm almost obsessed with bartending =.=

So yea, I work at a pub called Covent Garden Hotel. The people are nice, the pub is clean, the beer is always available (unlike some OTHER bar I would mention....), the patrons/customers fairly amiable BUT (yes, there's ALWAYS going to be a "BUT" in any sentence jackass =P) the tips are fairly shit. Yes, you heard me. Despite me getting a sexy rate at 19 years of age I still whinge about how much I get tipped....Well shut the fuck up, I like my money more than I care for your opinion =P In any case, I like the place despite how eccentric some of my female coworkers are...Thanks for the advice Alice....I really needed to know that I shouldn't in your words "Go for the boobies!". Pure poetry =.=

Errr....Yea before getting sidetracked I was errr....ummm....yea.....explaining why I like my job ^^ I get shifts, I get paid, my rate is awesome sauce (it pisses awesome over nearly all my mate's pays =D) and I feel appreciated =] Before I got this job, I assumed all bartenders were competent with cocktails....I was wrong. Pubs don't need em...or so they think =P I got this job thanks in part to my knowledge of cocktails and the manager's current idea of implementing a cocktail menu =D So yea...I'm like the go to guy for cocktails at the bar hahahah. Awesome. I was even asked for my input for the cocktail list =D Damn I feel part of something again...Let's hope I don't screw it up ^^; Still...It feels a bit weird whenever someone orders a shot or cocktail and all the staff instantly look at me....Flattering yea but it's still a bit awkward. I mean I'm the youngest guy there, I'm not used to having more experience than people 5-15 years older than me o__O On the bright side of things...I get massively tipped for cocktails when the rare order comes through =D Shots I don't get tipped much for unfortunately...But cocktails...Oh sweet fucking [insert preferred deity]! Like the guy who ordered Long Island Ice Teas from me for his "friend" because it was HER favourite drink....looked more like a date to me =P So yea, he most likely wanted to impress his date and wanted something she liked. I didn't know about the gal til I went for a smoke break and saw him with his pretty gal =O Errr....sidetracked again zzzz.....Where was I? Right, the tip. So he ordered the Long Islands for himself and his bonnie lass and I charge him $18 simply because we don't have a cocktail button installed (and I cbf'd pressing house spirit 4 times but I do that now for cocktails cuz I don't wanna get fucked over....). So he gives me a $50 note and tells me to keep the change. What. The. Fuck? $32? EH!? WHA!? REALLY?! WHY!?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL! o__O Errr yea....That kinda knocked me off balance >< Totally didn't expect such a big tip. I'm used to getting $10 MAX for a cocktail tip....It only made sense when I noticed the gender of his so called "friend" ;)

Well I might as well be constructive after that bit of random rambling/recounting so I'll type out the cocktail and shooter list complete with instructions! I really can't be fucked to find pictures to accompany them so go find some on google yourself you lazy bastard =P

Please note: The amount specified is MY recipe not the pub's....something about not having more than 60mL in each drink....zzz

Vanilla Caprioska (WAIT I DID THIS BEFORE DIDN'T I!??! Ahhh w/e it was ages ago...I'll do this one the pub's way.....even though I suggested the recipe and modified it to fit in the shitty 60mL limit)

45mL Vodka (Preferably vanilla flavoured but the pub doesn't have it =[ )

15mL Galliano Vanilla 

4 Wedges of Lime (I use a third to almost half a lime =P)

1-2 Tsp Sugar or 10mL Sugar Syrup

Muddle Lime and sugar/syrup in the shaker. Fill with Ice. Add liquor. Shake until shaker is bitingly cold (about 15-20 seconds should do it). Pour all contents into a highball glass (Yes that includes the lime and ice =.=). Garnish with well...fuck it doesn't need it but you can chuck in some maraschino cherries simply because they're awesome =D

Daquiri (Easily modified just like the caprioska. Great variations available just by adding a different liquor and the corresponding fruit =])

60mL Rum (45mL if adding flavours. 15mL of flavoured liquor and about 2 spoonfuls of w/e corresponding fruit)

4 Lime wedges

10mL Sugar Syrup

Soda Water

Muddle Lime and Sugar/Syrup in shaker. Fill with Ice. Add Liquor. Shake til bitingly cold. Strain into a cocktail glass (personally I double/triple strain to get rid of those tiny bits of lime floating around for aesthetics =P). Top with soda water. 

To add flavours: Add fruit to the muddle. Like for a Berry Daquiri, get some berries (raspberries or blackberries or even blueberries....mmmm blueberries....) and add it to the muddle (in other words squashing the living shit out of it to get juices =D). Add berry liqueur after adding ice (something like chambord or blueberry liqueur is just what you need =]). 

I think I'm getting lazy.....argh I'll keep going for the sake of making this post extremely fucking long =D Oh yea...If the shots add up to 60mL, I got lazy and abided by the pub recipes =/

Margarita

45mL Tequila

15mL Cointreau

30mL Lime Juice

Chill the cocktail glass. Fill the shaker with ice. Add all liquids (I'm lazy so shut up I already know it). Shake til the shaker freezes your hand or has a frosty look to it. Rub a slice of lime around the rim of the cocktail glass. Now invert the glass and dip the rim into some salt but not too fucking much. Put the glass upright you idiot and strain the drink into the cocktail glass =P Done.

Cbf with the cosmopolitan. Same shit as margarita. Don't salt rim. Replace tequila with Vodka. Reduce Lime to 15 mL and add 30mL cranberry Juice. Garnish with a wedge of lime. Enjoy =P

Long Island/Beach Ice Tea (The best damn tea you'll ever have. Too bad you can't drink alot of these =[)

15mL Vodka

15mL Cointreau

15mL Gin

15mL Rum

15mL Tequila

30mL Lemon Juice

10mL Sugar Syrup

Coke for Long Island Ice Tea or Cranberry Juice for a Long Beach Ice Tea

Fill shaker with Ice. Add alcohol, sugar syrup and lemon juice. Top with more ice cuz the ice will melt from the alcohol passing through. Shake that shit til it gets freezing =] Strain into a highball glass filled with ice. Top off with Coke for a Long Island or Cranberry Juice for a Long Beach.

Errr...forgot the rest of the cocktail list and I'll do the shots some other time....Damn I'm lazy =/

So yea I think I have ADHD. Check the symptoms. I have them all =/ I never would have guessed. I think it's because of that Hyper concentration trait inherent in all people with ADHD. I have an EXTREME amount of concentration when I'm reading and get into a book WAY too easily so that kind of prevents me from going all stereotypical ADHD on people. But I do exhibit symptoms. Severe restlessness, doing inappropriate things randomly in situations that require serious behaviour, running around for no reason and climbing things randomly, easily distracted, forgetting things easily, etc etc. Weird. My mind does run constantly though even if I look like I'm completely shitted and out of it. Yea...it would explain a lot =/

Anyways....1-2 hours spent on this shitty thing so I'm gonna nap for a few hours and hope my electronic cigarettes have arrived from the US.

Don't get close to me, I'll just disappoint you

Once upon a time I was incredibly socially inept. I did not know what to say or who to say things to. I thought I had grown, matured, learned new things...But it seems that I am still the same retarded person I was back then. I still don't know when to keep my mouth shut. I still don't know when to say something...I haven't learnt anything at all. I'm still a disappointment to many and will most likely continue to be one to many more....Well this proves a fairly large amount of people right. I can't keep promises...To myself or other people. Just punch me in the face if it makes you feel any better. Or ignore me. I'll cope. I'm not that brittle. Sure I'll sprout waterfalls under my eyes but that needn't concern you or anyone else for that matter. I make mistakes. I'M SUPPOSED TO FUCKING LEARN FROM THOSE DAMN MISTAKES. But bloody hell....I sure take a long time to learn even the simplest things...unless there's money involved....

Well now. I've just gathered my thoughts and pulled through my self defeatist attitude and have come to terms with yet another excruciating loss. Unfortunately, this just shows how easily I get over things. I failed, I messed up, w/e, I move on. I'm tired of the whole process. Obviously I fuck up way too often so now I'm a callous wretch. If I'm to be cut off. I'll fall away quickly and roll away from where I'm being cut from. My grieving process is incredibly quick for some odd reason. Maybe because I was a bullied kid who had the nerve to stand up to people. Maybe it's cuz of what I've been through over the last 4 years but there is no way in hell I'm gonna dwell on things that will no longer be relevant. 

My stages of grieving: 1. Denial 2.Bargaining 3. Depression 4. Acceptance 5. Anger at acceptance followed by just Anger then plain old Acceptance. This process takes between 2-5 hours for me. Strange. I must be extremely insensitive. 

Enough boring whoever is reading this. I'm not going to spend another hour or so telling you how screwed up I am cuz you can see that already. So let's get on with my gratuitous self inflating monologue shall we? After I'm done, you're sure to hate me if you don't already! (No sarcasm intended)

Well I've finally landed a STABLE job and it makes me glow a bit on the inside every time I think about this single achievement. A smallish pub on the corner of chinatown filled with white folk. I get a minimum of one shift a week and the pay is decent. $20.04/hr on week days, $24.05 on Saturdays, $28.05 on Sundays and $44.08 on public holidays. Not too shabby. Since I work on Saturday most of the time I get roughly $200 for  my night shift. So yea....Loving it =]

With the job, I can afford to pay off my debts and shit like that. =D Another plus is that I finally got myself to get gym membership =D For a fucking low rate! AHAHAHAHAHA Asian stubborn cheapness is awesome when utilised for contracts ^^ So it'll cost me less than a grand a year to keep my membership =P

Playing squash every monday. Gym right after. Study on tuesdays. Class all of wednesday. Gym and study on thursday. Recreation and possibly work on friday. Work on saturdays and gym if I don't have work the day before. Rest on sundays. That sounds pretty balanced =]

Fuck I can't be fucked writing anymore. I'll do proper post in the weeks to come. That is if I don't get shot or something like that. I won't change the title I put there in the beginning of this post simply because I believe that to be true. But here are some last words. I will not bow (to everyone), I will not break (for long) and I bloody well will get back on my feet if I get pushed down.

Ignore me but make it clear you're gonna ignore me. Once I'm done. I'm moving on. Goodbye and thanks for all the fish.

Inane ramblings: Part 7

Woo Hoo! Back from the capital city of australia! Canberra btw is a mega awesome place compared to sydney and here's my shitty personal reasons why!

1. The people are nicer! People aren't so uptight and are willing to start a conversation on the street. Sydney is like....zzz ignore ignore ignore [insert a "I'm too good for you" look] and complaining kind of place. Loosen up people!

2. Ummmm....the atmosphere, it's so much more laid back and relaxed, no one seems to be in that much of a rush in canberra =D

3. Errr....fuck I've actually forgotten the rest zzz.... forget it. All you need to know is that canberra is awesome =]

Damn, had a really awesome time at canberra. Sean, Jizzy, Ushan (if you're reading this....this ain't a basketball court mate, it's my blog =P) and I went to canberra to celebrate Alisson's (Sean's girlfriend =]) birthday over the weekend. Can't say I didn't love it there cuz to be completely honest, I enjoyed nearly every damn moment ^^

Well we got to canberra at around 4pm EST saturday, 26/06 and we had a nice bacon and errrr....spinach cream sauce and pasta cooked by Alisson for lunch. Too bad Izzy couldn't eat it...religious reasons -sigh- it was pretty good =] So yea... after dumping our shit at Frank n Sam's apartment we went to shop for our dinner ingredients for Alisson's bday dinner.

Here's the menu:

Chicken Con Carne

Serves 4 (We should've doubled the ingredients, this turned out better than we thought it would =D)

60mL Olive Oil

500g Chicken Mince

2 Small Onions

1 Green Capsicum

1 can Peeled Tomatoes

1 can Red Kidney Beans

1 clove Garlic, crushed

1 tbs Tomato Paste

1/4 cup Wine (optional....hehehe...added it just for kicks xD)

2 tsp Chilli Powder

Beef Bou-something has gnogn or someshit in the spelling. Don't ask me, I don't speak french =.=

Serves 6

60-100mL Vegetable Oil

1kg Beef Chuck Steak

10 Baby Onions

400g Button Mushrooms

250mL Beef Stock

250mL Dry Red Wine (fuck it we used about half a litre xD)

1/4 cup Flour

2 Bay Leaves

2tbs Oregano

CRACKED BLACK PEPPERCORNS!!! (Not in this recipe BUT IT WAS AWESOME!!)

3 rashers Bacon (we didn't use this, Izzy is halal so yea....)

A shitload of salt if you're not using the bacon

Chocolate Mousse

Serves 2 (We made enough for like 10-15 people =P)

100g dark chocolate

1 egg

125 mL thick cream

2tsp caster sugar

Yea....it all turned out pretty damn awesome. I really can't be bothered writing down the recipes right now so if you want the instructions you can email me or leave me a comment with your email address attached =P

Cocktail/Drink menu =D

Tequila Sunrise

Half cup Ice

45 mL Tequila

Almost fill with OJ

Dash of Raspberry Cordial

Supposed to serve just one....but...after the bottle dropped down to just a third...HELLO BOTTLE OF EXTRA STRENGTH TEQUILA SUNRISE!! xD

2 x 1L Bottle of Wet Pussy Shots (With substitutions cuz....SOMEBODY didn't buy cranberry juice =.=)

20-30 shots....(10 if you manage to take the bottle away from Ushan)

350mL Vodka

350mL Peach Schnapps

200mL Apple Cranberry Juice (I feel like a failure using this...)

Half a Lemon and Lime (For that extra citrus kick ^^)

Special Birthday Sex on the Beach Variation! (This is like...definitely not made in bars cuz you totally would be fined for the excessive amount of alcohol in it hahahaha....><)

Serves uhhh....ummm....in this case I'll say just ONE =P

Grab a bottle...some kind of water bottle, like those sports water bottles with that pop up lid. Chuck in around 8 large ice cubes.

Pour in 4 seconds worth of Malibu or if you're measuring.....around 2-4 shots

45 or so mL of Vodka

Almost fill with Orange Mango Juice (Supposed to be pineapple juice...but again...SOMEONE didn't buy any =.=)

Dash of Raspberry Cordial (WHY DIDN'T ANYONE BUY ANY CRANBERRY JUICE!?!?!)

Throw bottle into the air and watch them scramble for it~! Just kidding =P

Completely Retarded Kiwi & Rum Slushee~ (I'd say it's similar to a Daquiri)

Serves ???? o___O <

The ingredients are kinda vague to me...I did this while recovering from clubbing that night so...here's a rough guess of what I put in hahaha

6-8 Cups of Ice

1 Chopped Kiwi Fruit (I'm surprised I didn't cut myself ^^;)

1 Lime,- Skin Removed

Quarter bottle of Rum

Errrr....about ¼ cup of sugar? ><

Yea....that one is really vague in my memory...I have no idea why I made that in -3 degree weather...Good idea Bill...making yourself colder when you're pretty fucking cold in the first place >.>

Ugh...I can't remember what I was going to write thanks to my idiot of a brother who pulled my net out while I was typing this out...about a week ago =.= With my shitty capped net I can barely access my blog...Oh wells at least I made some cash off the FIFA World Cup xD

Anyways I really can't be fucked writing anything in any sort of coherent manner so I'll just ramble on and finish in a lil bit. I've been listening to Jet a lot lately, their songs are just so catchy =P DON'T JUDGE ME!!! 1 week after Canberra and I feel kinda iffy, I don't think I'm ok physically...My skin is completely fucked now >< To be fair it was never great to begin with so no real loss there...still it's making me feel like shit, I'll go to the doc's on thursday for a check up =/

Hmm...I'm really envying couples these past few days -sigh- I've been single for what? 19 and a half fucking years. Ugh. I can't be fucked elaborating. It's pointless. Not a single girl is interested. The only time I get their attention is when I'm making drinks or cooking. After that....fucking hell... I feel like a used tool zzzz. And yes I'm rolling my eyes as I'm typing this shit excuse for a blog right now, occasionally doing some curls with my left arm while typing or smoking. Yea....I'm pretty fucking bored....that and I don't have a fucking heater =.= The curls heat my body up and the smoking does that to a certain extent so yea...I feel like a lunatic who won't stop rolling his eyes at his own thoughts. Wow so much for finishing in a lil bit...This is just like a bloody stream of consciousness kind of thing...I think.

Oh yea! Apparently I have a repressed side that'll show itself when I'm in a place where I hardly know anyone =P Tyvm Sam...I really needed to know that...not. Still that's kinda interesting =] Like I'm kind of unsure of how I behave. I know I'm a fucking extrovert a majority of the time...especially in larger groups but for some fucking uncontrollable reason I become withdrawn and quiet when I'm alone with someone. There's so many things I want to say but I don't dare speak it out loud. So many things I want to let you know but I'm scared of how you'll take it...I can't even type up what I want to say just because I'm a too bloody scared of losing contact. Fuck I'm a bloody coward. Time and time again I've been told by many a close friend to fucking man the fuck up and do it already but alas...I am a mere boy unskilled in the arts of errrr....just realised what I was about to type. Fuck.....I'm a fucking coward. I can be myself around everyone except for one person....DAMN IT!

I think I'll just mope for just a little bit.

On another note, I can't look at white Sambuca without feeling sick...I drank so much of that shit that I filled up an entire sink and passed out soon after. Goon and Sambuca do NOT mix well.

This blog post has turned into a cesspit of despair and self pity from an overly happy post of excitement and rejuvenation. How things change in such a short period of time. I'm sure you can spot the transition. Self pity is the stupidest thing I can do to myself and here I am doing just that. Well fuck it. I'm going to have a fucking shower, exercise then make myself feel like less of a failure.

“I don't know anymore, what I need and what for

All I know is there must be something more”

~ La Di Da– Jet  

Inane ramblings: Part 6

Well..I'm going back to work at maccas. Yea....Say what you will. I'm ramming my pride down my throat and doing what needs to be done. I'm strapped for cash. Really strapped for cash. I'm not going to rely on the government or my parents to support me. I'm too stubborn to rely on someone else to do everything for me.

Well....this is pretty fucked up. It's back to being McBill again. Never thought that would happen....oh wells. Shit happens. Hope this is for the best.

Wish me luck in finding another job soon!

Alternatively, you could help me find a decent paying stable job =]

Shattered Pieces

Just like how a glass shatters, my family has just done that...I think...my parents are at the very edge of divorce and I'm sure that will happen. Just like the shards of glass on the floor, picking up the pieces of this family will only cut you even more. No point in bitching about it, hell I don't know how I should be feeling but that's mainly because of the alcohol in my system...I think. I'm more curious than apprehensive about this whole divorce thing. I'm very certain that it will happen, I'm just surprised my parents have actually stuck together for so long =/

Well things aren't looking that great at the moment...I have a huge debt (over $2400) thanks to the overcharging practices of Optus....bastards....meh I'll just avoid purchasing any optus product in the future >=D On top of that....I still haven't got a call from my "employer" =.= Gah life is a pain =/

Damn...it has always been my job to clean up the mess in the house and I don't feel like cleaning up this one. Fuck it, it's not my job. I'm going to sit here and drink my TED (Toohey's Extra Dry for future references), relax and watch the events unfold. Too bad someone else has to pick up the pieces though.

Restricted

It's 4am in the morning and I'm still awake but it's not like I haven't done something constructive. In the past 3 hours I have applied for 3 jobs online and contemplated how society is going down the drain. Let me clear this up a bit, I don't mean society is completely shit but it looks like it's heading that way.

All of these new laws and restrictions that are poised to strike society are doing more harm than good despite the intentions. Remember, someone said (I can never remember the guy who said this =/): "The greatest harm can come from the best of intentions". This is by far one of the most accurate descriptions I can think of regarding those damned "anti-smacking" laws. These laws prevented parents from physically abusing their children in public BUT COME ON! Kids these days are running rampant, screaming at the top of their lungs, walking as if they have a right to every single little thing, swearing at their parents, swearing at strangers, swearing at fucking everyone! I know what some people are thinking right about now...the kids can't help how they behave, they're kids. Fuck off. Right now. Get the fuck away from this site. Never come back until you realise it's both society and the parent's fault (I would also like to blame christianity but that would offend too many people...wait too late already did).

When these restrictions on disciplining your children came into place, I'm sure it was largely supported but....did anyone really think of the children? Like really thought about how they would turn out not just how they were being treated. A punch is too far, a kick, obviously. Throwing? Ok....too far (no pun intended). But a slap to the face? Hell, I think that's a perfectly fine way to discipline a child, especially if the kid has been a complete wrecking machine or like a rabid dog. If your kid was screaming his/her head off just for the sake of a fucking chocolate bar and threw a tantrum just to get it. Fuck. You slap that kid's face. It will shut the damned brat up and teach em never to do it again. Just the threat of you doing again is a deterrent. Key word: AGAIN.

I swear...kids these days, they have no respect for anyone older than themselves, no discipline and absolutely no sense of responsibility for their own actions. Once again I point my finger at society. Sure, kids have a right to not be abused but the rest of us (the majority) have a right not to be abused by brats. The media went into a frenzy just because a mother slapped her child in a shopping center a few years back. At that time, I thought "good parent" but the fucking annoying and overwhelmingly loud minority of "think of the children" retarded mothers (I say mothers instead of parents....it's always the rich wife who's devoted to religion that sparks this kind of idiocy), scream out for blood. They believe that children can be taught to be civilised without the use of discipline. Well yea...your snot nosed brat has everything he/she wants, why wouldn't the "planned" accident be errr....."civilised" =.=

Continuing on...The hysteria over a single slap...it was enough to increase the amount of children running amok. What could the reasonable parents do? They couldn't even hit their child due to the fear that they too would be prosecuted for such a necessary act of minute violence to maintain order as well as educate. If I ever saw a parent discipline their child in public for a good reason (I can think of so damn many good reasons....), I swear...that parent should be given some kind of award for having the guts to stop curb their offspring. It's the duty of a parent to take care of their child and teaching the kid proper etiquette is a vital part of that. I'm no parent but as a young adult coming to terms with himself, I honestly believe that being disciplined as a child in both public and private was beneficial to me. I didn't just get slapped....I'm asian, my dad WAS beyond strict so....let your imagination run wild, no seriously, let it run really wild. Make sure to include the sound of a bamboo cane swinging through the air....good times =/

Anyways, from just this simple restriction, a huge proportion of the later part of my generation and the almost the entirety of generations thereafter are simply too free in their upbringing creating senselessly violent and self righteous people. This might just be a generalisation but hell, the argument of everything being done for the children has been overused and is completely abused by every loudmouthed religious control freak (fucking fanatics....go play god somewhere else, preferably in isolation). The argument, valid as it may be in many cases, is now being used by the bloody government as an excuse to implement an internet filter.

Sure...the filter sounds reasonable in theory to someone who doesn't realise wtf the filter really means. Blocking website that contain offensive material involving children doesn't sound bad, in fact it sounds pretty good.....but is it the right thing to do? Fuck. No. An internet filter is just another word for internet censorship. CENSORSHIP! Grrrr... Yes, an excuse to be able to edit any and all incoming and outgoing data that goes through the australian internet connection. Sure it MIGHT prevent kids from watching porn or w/e but that's never gonna stop an adolescent boy from watching porn. Duh. It's the parent's duty to monitor the activities of the child. IT'S THE PARENT'S DUTY TO ENSURE THAT THE KID DOESN'T GET ACCESS TO WHATEVER THE PARENT DEEMS INAPPROPRIATE! It's not the government's job, it never was, and it NEVER should be. If the internet is censored....opinions will disappear and information will be erased or blocked. Any negative views will be removed from public access....we'll become like china....fml. No freedom of information. Information is extremely valuable so having a lack of access to information will cause people to be more easily manipulated by both the government and the media. Wiki the TAMPA incident for an example.

In any case, I just really had to get this off my chest. Society is going to be fucked. Look at it. With each new restriction designed to prevent the decline of morals and integrity, the descent into chaos increases ten fold. If children are the future....then why are we fucking them up? These protections are simply causing our future to become bleak and chaotic. Not to mention COMPLETELY FUCKED UP!

I'd just like to say thank you to all the idiotic religious housewives with too much time on their hands for starting public outcries and giving a government an excuse to control every aspect of our lives. In case you didn't notice, this entire paragraph is drenched with sarcasm. Thanks again....now go rot by yourself, I don't wanna get dragged down along with you.

Last thing,
To all you parents who actually do know how to discipline your children, Bravo! YOu all deserve medals or some kind of award =] (This obviously doesn't include the idiots I mentioned before). So yea, keep up the good work and hopefully there are more of you out there!

mental prison break

Alright, it's done, there's no turning back. There is no delete button, there is no back button, there is no time machine. I've kind of said something, well more like implied something over an effin text message. It was bound to happen eventually and with that I would like to say I don't regret it....yet.

It was impossibly hard to hold it back, well fuck it, it's done. Sis, you know what I'm talking about ^^;

Well time to welcome an epic phail once again!

Thought that just struck me: Shit...

Back from the dead

I'm back....sort of. Now that I'm employed again everything seems a little brighter. It's as if someone has pulled the curtains away from my eyes and shown me what it is to live again. Like I've said many times before: I live off pressure, that is pressure from working and shit like that. So yea...I am now employed at the Manhattan Lounge on Elizabeth St, Martin Place opposite Verandah Bar =D Look for the dark asian guy but don't expect any free drinks you free loading bastards =.=

Anyways, yea my life is looking up =] I got a cab back home from there for only $30 when it normally costs $45-55 ahahhaha then I checked my inbox....Guess what was there =P A successful application to one of my many many many...many....etc job applications online! Apparently I have an interview on monday =/ To go or not to go...hmmm...I do have a job now soooo do I go to the interview or not....Well let's see....I have to do my timetable on monday, tuesday I have to call my boss to arrange my shifts after my timetable is done soooo...I COULD go....FUCK so hard to decide! Somebody help me decide!!!

In any case (I gotta stop saying that....faaah) something tells me my life is looking up =] Soon enough I'll pay off my debts and move the hell outta this shithole I currently call home. Life isn't as bad as it was 20-something hours ago ahahaha....To the guys not talking to me at the moment: I'm working on my life, I'm getting there, I'm fixing my shit up...hopefully....no wait....definitely!

To summarise this whole bragging parade up, I'd just like to say something inspiring, something thought provoking, something you definitely won't find here. Yea....you're not gonna get that something, I really can't be fucked so yea life's a bitch and this one of them lemons so shut up, make some lemonade and when life least expects it....throw the lemonade in its spiteful face =D

Don't force me to be the way you are

I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I AM going to finish my plan! I WILL succeed! I don't care what you think! I don't care if you think I'm going to fail! Even if I fall down, I'll pick myself up and go charging back into the fray with reckless abandon until I get there! I might emerge there bloodied, exhausted and completely fucked up but I will finish what I started!

I know what you're thinking..."WTF!?!? What the fuck is this guy talking about!??!" Well...I'm talking about me making my own way into the event management business/industry. I know it's hard work, I know it's hard to succeed, I know I'm a fucked up guy with shitloads of problems, I know a lot of you think I'm going to give up or fail miserably! YOU KNOW WHAT? LICK ME SIDEWAYS!

I'm over a grand in debt, mentally exhausted and being pressured from a lot of shit but you know....I've never been happier with myself. I've got my goal in sight and I'm willing to do everything I can to achieve it. I'm working as hard as I can and so far, I can't say I've regretted anything this year yet. I love you 2010!!!

Just like all the positions I've played over the years in various sports, I'm going to risk life and limb to keep the game in play. As a goal keeper, I'm not going to let you score a point against my goal. As a catcher, I'm going to plan the game and make sure all my obstacles are struck out. But most importantly...I've got the drive to play!

"They echo deep inside me, there's no need to understand me" - My Favourite Song, Ellegarden

You. Me. Let's....! Ah forget about it...

I've never been good with girls...well...that's not really entirely true but for the sake of this blog, let's just go with that =/

Let me lay down the facts right in front you so you don't get lost later on...

- I have been single for all of my life...all 18(almost 19) years of it

- I have been rejected enough times that I know when a girl isn't interested just by her tone of the first word she says in response to me asking her out.

Let's get on with it shall we?

Whenever there's some girl I find to be interesting/attractive I just shrug it off these days....maybe it's because I've realised one too many things....or maybe it's because I fear rejection because the pain of it still scars me emotionally. But I've learned quite a few things as a result of these heart breaking rejections. One of them is that persistence NEVER EVER pays off, no matter what girls say. Lingering feelings for someone who rejected you should be thrown in the trash as soon as you realise they're there. It's kinda like....saving that sandwich that gave you indigestion the first time around...when you come back to it, it's still gonna give you indigestion the second time around no matter how much you blame it on the drink you had with it last time, in fact it's gonna fuck your stomach up even more this time cuz it's been rotting since the day you first attempted to eat it. Girls I know tend to say "You still have feelings for ******? Awww....Isn't that sweet?" To answer the second half of the question....No, it's fucking bitter like that rotting sandwich I mentioned earlier.

That brings me to my second point...I will never trust advice on getting a girl from another girl and I will never ever accept the "Don't worry, you'll find someone" bullshit that comes from a smug couple who thinks they know everything about you. You know who you are....

Moving along...50% of girls I've been attracted to have been "snagged" already and the other half have been worst liars I've yet to meet. For the girls who already have a boyfriend ATTACH A SIGN THAT SAYS ATTACHED OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT!!! WE'RE (I believe I speak for alotta guys here =]) SICK OF FINDING OUT YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND AFTER WE GO THROUGH THE DAUNTING TASK OF ASKING YOU OUT!!! -cough- So where was I? Oh, right the second half of the equation...I know you don't want to hurt my feelings when you say some bullshit like "I don't wanna lose you as a friend..." or "I'm not ready for this..." but for fuck's sake....can I have an honest answer for once? Is it too much to ask? Am I too unattractive for you? Am I too much of a dickhead? A simple dead honest answer will incapacitate me for a while....but at least I'll know what the fuck is wrong with me and not leave me with those unanswered questions that lead to more insecurities...I'm not trying to be mean or anything when I say this but you're worse than those bitchy girls to me, at least a bitch tells it as it is. Kinda sad when you think about it =.=

So anyways...I've given up on finding a girlfriend, I realise that won't find someone who I'm interested in who somehow happens to also be interested in me. It's not as if I've turned gay or anything like that (but life would be so much easier if I were -.-)...it's just that I've become too tired of chasing after someone who won't reciprocate my genuine feelings. Fuck the chase...I can't be fucked to do the work...for once in my life I want to be the one chased but even if that happens....I doubt I'll care, I'm beyond caring about something I've never had or unlikely to have.

Some day, I might just settle for some one who I have no interest in simply because she was who was available at the time...I'll put my all into the relationship but... my heart won't be in it (corny/cheesy w/e you wanna call it...I know), that's for sure and I'm pretty damn certain she'll realise that....Soooo...I'm just settling for a life as a single dickhead living one step at a time.

If you're even remotely interested in me, let's see if you can match my pace.